On money counting…
Well, $500 and $1000 bill was discontinued in 1969.
So, if you are dealing with those bills, you are dealing with collectors who will be more particular.
So, let’s got with $100 bills.
Googling “fastest bill counter” gives the “JetScan iFX i100” which can do 1600 bills per minute.
Which is only 6.25 minutes for $1M in $100 bills.
And it had counterfeit detection.
Honestly, that’s a hell of a lot faster than I expected.
If the bank has/uses automated machines for customer deposits.

Anyway, I don’t think a bank would accept a $1M deposit.
Any deposits over $10,000 require special processing by the IRS.
Indeed, all financial institutions need to abide by “know your customer” rules.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_your_customer

If you are a regular banker than has a $50k salary and you rock up with $1M cash, a bank is going to refuse you. Or at least do a hell of a lot of due-diligence.
It’s all about anti-laundering and anti-terrorism these days, and they need to manage the risk of having you as a customer.
If you have a history of big cash deposits, then it might be easier.

Even then, chances are you would have to go to a fairly major branch of a bank for them to be able to accept the risk of holding $1M in cash.

I know modern banking is “Money in, money out. So easy”.
But beyond certain thresholds, risk management, government agencies and laws all come into effect. And you can bet your ass, a bank will be wanting to minimise their risk!

For me, it was a notepad.
Not a note app or anything digital.
Just a book to scribble the random thoughts in with a pen.
It lets my mind release it, and if I circle back to it when chilling I can always re-read the notepad and make changes or whatever.

If I find myself super bored when trying to have a few days off, I can collate any notes into more concrete notes.
But always pen on paper, in a notepad.

Next time I’m at work, I can reread my notes and make more objective decisions on their quality/implementation

All it does for me is double down the imposter-syndrome.
I’m not good at this… People keep hiring me, maybe I’m alright at it. Dunning-Kuger is a thing, maybe my “people keep hiring me” ego is making me blind.
And yet, every day I do cool things, I learn new cool things, I redo old things with my new knowledge
But still… I’m just pretending

I think getting to a bank, explaining where 1M in cash came from, getting them to accept the deposit, getting them to count it, then spending it in less than an hour is not feasible.

Because, depositing it in a bank is not enough.
It has to be spent.
So, if you don’t spend it then the bank is left without however much disappears… If that makes sense.

And, given that, I don’t think investing is a suitable application.
Otherwise, just invest it directly at the bank.
Maybe you don’t get inflation-beating interest (ie, if it was your 1M you would be losing money), but after whatever-term you get 1M of clean money to spend.

Yeh, for real.
It seemed like the last year or so, everything on reddit became gore.
I found myself blocking new subs every week (even older subs that previously had interesting stuff suddenly having gore)