You’d need a way to cluster the instance and the software doesn’t provide that. You’d have to use some kind of 3rd party solution which would be more expensive than simply upgrading your server. Better to just co-op people into a server upgrade.
I have some duplicate communities as well. It would be handy to be able to group them, but at this point comments just show up on my subscribed front page with the rest of my subscribed communities. It’s transparent there, but when you go to a particular community, you can only look at duplicates individually.
Man I have the in-laws from hell so I know what you’re dealing with. Same problem, when they visit it’s like non-stop activities and I don’t want to spend the whole time with them. They’re like supercharged tourists.
Fortunately my wife feels the same way and doesn’t force me to participate in every activity. But if I didn’t participate in some then like you say, I’d look like an asshole. My wife does what she can to give me space so it’s tolerable. I do dread when they come to visit though. It’s the polar opposite with my own relatives, we can lounge around and talk for hours in a relaxed way, it’s very easy going.
I rely on my wife to provide some insulation, maybe that’s something you could ask of your wife. If my wife didn’t do that for me I don’t know if I could tolerate the in-laws coming to camp out for several days at a time.