Nah man, just try again. If you fail on your third attempt, you can start thinking about bribes. Would be helpful to know which country you are in though. Here in Germany i’m pretty sure that bribing wouldn’t work.

Some kind of biometric scan.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3, pretty good.

On here, for pretty much every opinion you can find someone who supports it. Sarcasm can really only be understood by people who know you, as they can compare it against what you usually say and do. The pure text form makes it even harder to understand sarcasm, as it removes any cues in your voice or facial expression.

It might somewhat ruin the joke, but in an environment like this, you have to be blunt if you want people to understamd you’re being sarcastic, for example by adding a tag like “/s”.