I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.
I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.
These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.
As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.
I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?
You have more experiences, true, but some things can help you feel like you’re experiencing them for the first time. Any experience with psychedelics?
Psychedelics made me realise i had forgotten the novelty of childhood. If i had never tried them, maybe id never have realised…
Psychedelics have helped me to retain those feelings long after the trip has ended (some indefinitely, at least at time of writing this). I never appreciated a cool breeze until one of those experiences (I always wanted to cover up and shield myself from it before). Now, whenever I feel a cold wind or cool breeze, I appreciate it so much more because of that past experience.