Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • mizu@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    451·
    2 years ago

    Okay I’ll give in a tiny bit only because this barely narrows it down: one of them is ridiculously close to what is actually the case. Like, I’m actually doing the thing you mentioned in the point, just your reasoning is wrong.

    • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
      19·
      2 years ago

      Just for readability, these are the options with reasoning:

      • Attending an event (festivalor convention)
      • Long journey, such as a cross-country trip (probably this one, as OP mentioned walking+travelling by train)
      • Reality TV Show / film
      • Sleo@lemmy.caEnglish
        0·
        1 year ago

        He’s probably out on the Hajj, they travel to some of the key points by train. The bathroom facilities are not ideal and that’s why he is asking for ways to trim down his poop times.

        • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          1 year ago

          But he said that he’d make the whole trip twice and that he’d be able to poop the second time

          • Sleo@lemmy.caEnglish
            1·
            1 year ago

            As part of the hajj, the entire community travels to various points in and around the city. One of the points that’s only for a few days is in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside the official boundaries of the city of Makkah. When they are in the tent (it’s a fancy tent, air conditioned but with zero privacy with 20 other guys), the bathrooms there are communal, which in turn are not the cleanest in the world. Most of them are the eastern squatty potty style. Let’s just say not going there for a poop seems very tempting. The counter to it is, most of the food there is free, and it is really good… So it’s a very delicate balance to say the least.

            This is all speculation on my part, given the timing of it. For all we know it could be some weird kinky camping thing the guy is into!

    • L3s@lemmy.worldEnglish
      13·
      2 years ago

      One of those scenarios + poop shy around S/O, S/O family, or friends is my guess.

      Edit: also, cheese, lots of cheese.

      Edit2: is this the new “found a safe”?

      • JesusTheCarpenter@lemmy.worldEnglish
        9·
        2 years ago

        Why would he not want to say the reason though? If that was the case, the OP could just say he is a shy pooper. Instead we now suspect that this is some kind of orgy with a fetish.

      • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        2 years ago

        They said that facilities would be everywhere “as normal”.

        Also, they said they’d be taking travelling, the same route twice, first time around they can’t poop, second time they can.

    • Cool Beance@lemmy.worldEnglish
      81·
      2 years ago

      You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

      • eyy@lemm.eeEnglish
        4·
        2 years ago

        undefined> You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

        Congratulations, you’re the first person in the world to use that sentence.

    • Ciari@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      1·
      2 years ago

      My guess is that OP is going to be in a circus performance (which explains the large tent with air conditioning). As to the reason they don’t want to poop, it might be because:

      • their costume(s) are difficult to remove
      • there is something about the bathroom that they find creepy/unsettling
      • they have an STD or other infection in that area of their body and don’t want to risk having anyone find out unexpectedly, or don’t want to risk spreading it to others via the toilet seat (gonna be real idk if thats even a thing but it feels like it could be)
      • they hold some kind of superstition about pooping during the initial travel period, or about entering the bathroom, or something that is in the bathroom
      • they have to get to the bathroom by passing an area and/or person that they dislike and/or feel uncomfortable around
      • they take notoriously large shits and don’t want to clog the toilet
      • they just have really bad poop anxiety

      Anyway, best of luck to you OP. Hope whatever you’re doing works out and that you stay as safe as you can. Update us when you come back!